Happy Mother's Day!

     So Mother's Day weekend is winding down and it was busy as usual. This morning Makayla woke me up bright and early, eager for pancakes and to show me my Mother's Day presents. She didn't even feel that waiting on her sister to get up was necessary. We did, however, wait for Kaitlyn and when she got up (only 5 minutes later!) I opened a beautiful "#1 Mom" locket with matching earrings and a heart shaped plaque that reads "Mom, I love you more each day". Such sweet girls I have! I'm truly blessed to have them.
     My relationship with my own mother is a bit more complicated. We're not the mother and daughter who are best friends and do everything together. We've never been what you'd call "close" I guess and for the longest time it really bothered me. It wasn't until I became a mother myself that I realized nobody will ever love you the way your momma does. Maybe we don't see eathother very often or talk every day but at the end of the day she's my mother and I love her. I do wish at times we were closer but it is what it is. I know a lot of people who've lost their moms and I know how lucky I am that mine is still here. Thinking about that makes me realize I shouldn't take that for granted.
     She and I are very different, we like different things, have different priorities and sometimes the common ground is just difficult for us to find. Now that I'm older though I look back and have a new respect and appreciation for her. When she was my age, she was a divorced single mom raising 3 kids and going to school. She did the best she knew how. I can look at her now and just feel love for her and accept that even though we may not be as close as other mothers and daughters, that mother-daughter bond is still there and always will be.
     As a mother myself, I do want to have that close relationship with my own daughter. I want her to feel that she can come to me no matter what and always talk to me. I love her unconditionally and I don't think you can even understand that concept until you become a parent. From day one this little person counted on me for every single need she had. She's getting older now (almost 5) and she's already wanting more independence. She can do so much for herself now so when I do get to do things for her it makes me feel needed. I know the older she gets, the less I get to do so I'm holding on to all of these little moments. I have a box full of pictures she's drawn for me, a drawer full of keepsakes and a book full of memories.
     One day she's going to be a mom herself and I hope that everything I'm doing now will make her a strong, caring and compassionate woman who will teach her own children the same. When we first brought her home from the hospital I would just hold her for hours and couldn't believe God had put me in charge of this tiny little person. People said I was going to "spoil" her with all the holding but I didn't care...I just couldn't put her down! I hope she always knows how deeply I love her and how nothing could ever change that love. My own mother used to tell me that and I just couldn't fully grasp it until I was a mom myself.
     I had lunch with my mom today and we're to a point now where I don't feel like I have to try and make small talk or try to impress her. We're in a place where we're comfortable. We ate, we gave her her gift, hugged, said good-bye and "I love you". And that's finally enough for me. No need to try to make it more than it needs to be. It just boils down to the fact that despite our differences, that love is there and always will be. So to all my fellow moms and step-moms and the moms to be who get to experience this amazing journey called motherhood: Happy Mother's Day!